In case you haven't noticed; I'm a very unstable person. Always have been, always will be.

And I'm not happy either. I'm happy with some things in my life, like my little babygirl <3 but overall, I'm actually unhappy. I was always unhappy as a child so I never actually learned to be happy in general.

I figured something out though.

In order to be happy, I have to fake my life. I have to fake the intimacy, fake the sex, and eventually maybe even fake the love for my bf. I'd be just as miserable if I were a single mum, so why not be with somebody who can share the bills and the care for my baby? Might as well be the father right?

Yes I'm a bad person. My brain is not right, can't help it. There are good, happy, normal periods, but they always seem to end as abruptly as they start.

I used to think I'm bipolar. I'm not screwed up enough for that. Just not quite there, but not far from it.

I'm just normal enough to work and be a mom, not quite normal enough to do it completely right. Or completely sane.

Poor bf.

Poor Babygirl :( I hope she turns out better than mommy.